I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
high people should be assigned attendants
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
