New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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