dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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