He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
