I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
