so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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