Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
