Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
