He kissed a someone with a penis
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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