A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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