About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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