She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
