He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
