Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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