I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
