Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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