Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
