i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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