i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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