You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
