Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The Olympian is in my bed
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
