thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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