I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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