if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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