I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize