whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
