She's JV to your varsity
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
