Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
