i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
