Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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