I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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