So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
