I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
