I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
