you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
