Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
