I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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