we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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