you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
