the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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