You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
