I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
