google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
