Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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