discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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