I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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