i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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