margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
