when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
