even my farts smell like vagina
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
