your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
